So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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