did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
