Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
