Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
