The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
