hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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