Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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