So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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