Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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