ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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