Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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