Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
