If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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