Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
