Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
