The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
