Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
