we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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