You're completely useless in the revolution.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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