Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
false alarm, still single
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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