Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize