if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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