her vagine was all disorganized.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
