4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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