do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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