i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
