Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize