And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
