would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
