No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
