just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
