Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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