yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
