Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
