at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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