i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
