Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
