so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize