Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
