I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize