Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A+ Viking dick
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
