Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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