You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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