I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
