After last night, I could never be a politician.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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