Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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