I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So vagazzling was a success
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
