wat bout pragnant strippers??
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
