bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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