you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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