she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
