no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
