if i can run in heels then i can drive
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
