So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
