Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
