oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
