I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
