...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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