with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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