Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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