is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
