handjob tips. give me some.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
