This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
