this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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