yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
